Where did I last end. Oh yeah, my mom sent me to live with my dad and his wife. I remeber the night it happened I was crying so hard. I just knew my mom was going to kill herself. I didn't want to leave her. Good news was she got help. Bad news was it felt like she gave me away. You must understant it had been my mom and I for 14yrs. and not to be around her sucked. So I have to say I was a little more then upset. Besides that I was living with a women I heard nothing but bad things about. My dads wife, she was nothing like my mom. My mom is sweet, caring and giving. I couldn't see that in my step mom. I didn't even think my dad liked her. Anyway there I was in a new house with strangers, I felt all alone.

Okay so the first week there, that's when it started. It was a wednesday after school I went to my grandma's house to spend time with her. My dad had called to tell me he was going to pick me up to attend bible study. Boy did I blow up! Let me tell you why----

Okay my mom sometimes would take my sister and I to church once and a while, you know christmas, easter, etc... but I didn't know God. Much of my childhood was spent crying, sad and wondering why I was alive and wondering if this so called life was all just a dream. By the age of 4yrs my mom's friend 14yr old son molested me, for eight years I felt  ignored by my mother whenever her boyfriend was around, and felt all alone when my sister moved away. I even thought about killing myself when I was 13. I was pretty hopeless.

So you see believing I needed to attend church was a big yeah right. The evil part inside of me was fighting againist God big time. I told my dad, "God had never did anything for me. I didn't see the point. He told me if I was going to live in his house I had to attend church. See by this time my sister had lefted me once again and went back to Milwaukee. It wasn't like my dad was going to buy me a ticket, but I still refused to go to bible study. That's when my grandmother called my aunt. My aunt Grillian asked me something that stuck with me, "What will it hurt for you to go?" I didn't have an answer! So I went for it, I went to bible study.

To Be Continued...

This moved me. Your post reminds me of my daughter. She wants nothing to do with church. It was my fault, not being willing to take her in her younger years. She is now 15 and with a chip on her shoulder about church. My husband is not saved, and this only worsens her worldly attitude, because he will not go at all. However, he makes her go, just to get out of the house.
i have three sons, who enjoy church. they even want to be preachers when they grow up. what a wonderful God!
i often wonder at times if i ever lead anyone to Christ in the five years I've been saved. Danielle. it turns out God uses us, even when we are not aware of it.
Keep on fighting the good fight of faith, sister. please feel free to visit me anytime. I try to be an encourager, and you and i could probably keep in touch. We all need a shoulder to lean on, but the best one is Jesus!!
Love you dear.